Always see “real women” posts so here’s one for the dudes.
this says so much. I wish there were more posts like this. please.
body positivity and realistic body standards are important for guys too!
Men are constantly reassured that it’s okay to oogle women and harrass them about their looks. Women rarely see sexualized images of men that are made for women.
Guys get eye candy everywhere they go. Their sexual gaze is constantly catered to. Women, at least hetero women, are rarely given the opportunity to have their sexual interest entertained. We’re told that we should be okay with having nothing to look at. That our fantasies don’t matter. That we shouldn’t ever even remotely expect to be able to eyeball a svelte man in public, only behind closed doors and heaven forbid that the man look vulnerable. So we finally get to see images that turn us on and people are like, “Hey, you can’t put that in magazines! that might hurt some little boy’s feelings!”
Men are given alternative physical images to aspire to. Women are not.
While yes, guys should be treated to body positivity too… they already are. Just watch TV or any comedy and count the number of pudgy, out of shape, male leads vs pudgy, out of shape female leads. Or the number of hairy, overweight, older men making block buster movies vs the number of hairy, overweight, older women. Now count how many times that male character has some incredibly smart, sexy wife who does everything for him. And then how many times she’s the butt of the joke when he gets hot for some woman who’s younger and thinner than she is.
Fuck, just look at the responses to women not shaving their legs vs the responses to guys not shaving off their stubble.
Name six movies about a woman above the age of forty who’s love interest is a man that’s younger than she is where the plot doesn’t revolve around her being the butt of a cougar or mom joke. Now name me six where a man over the age of forty’s love interest is a woman who’s significantly younger than he is. Bonus points for action movies where anyone in the movie makes a mention of the age difference.
How many times are male politician or CEO’s body or style of dress put into question? How many times are female’s? Or has everyone forgotten how we flip out when the president’s wife gets a new hair cut? Or how Hillary Clinton had to have a FUCKING MAKE OVER before the news agencies took her seriously? How many times was her daughter raked over the coals for looking like an average teenager?
What’s more, I’ve never heard any of my female friends or my mother and her female friends saying, “Why can’t my 50 year old husband get a six pack like that?” What I USUALLY here is “I wish my husband would get a nice hair cut.” or “I wish he’d wear some nicer clothes that actually fit him.”
But what i hear overhear men saying all time is, “No fat chicks!” or “I wish my wife had bigger boobs.”
I know a woman who’s husband threatened to leave her if she didn’t get a face lift and a boob job- she was so upset that she did it. She felt disgusting every day because she wasn’t a size six and he expected her to be a size six after bearing him four kids. My own uncle said if his wife got overweight that he’d drag her behind a car until she lost weight. These aren’t even “bad guys”! They seem like perfectly nice men when you meet them! But they’re taught from the moment they’re kids that all women need to be a certain body type to be worthy of any attention.
Men are told through our culture’s stories and media that a woman will still love them unconditionally and throw themselves at them if they’re fat, old, balding, or an asshole, while women are told that if they’re pushy, fat, old or wearing out of style clothes that they aren’t even worth mentioning.
I was just going to bold the good parts , so I bolded the whole thing lol.
While I do believe mostly everything bolded is true, I still think the original post is quite valid. Just because there is an overwhelming difference in how men and women’s appearance is treated, doesn’t mean tons of guys don’t deserve to see this post and feel better about themselves too. I know it’s more complicated than that but there is still a pressure for men to look good and I hear girls talk about how guys are soo much hotter when they have a six pack, or nice biceps, back muscles, ALL the time.
I think one thing that can be said is that almost any guy can get super muscular and look good if he puts the work in. And being super muscular is not unhealthy at all.
But for women, if you have a thick waist, you can’t exactly change the size of your ribcage. You can’t make your hip bones wider. If you don’t have boobs, well, have fun getting surgery on that. The ‘attractive’ standards today also dictate that women be hungry and underweight in most cases.
Men are under pressure, yes. And I’m not saying they should succumb to it, or that its good that this pressure exists, but if they wanted to they could absolutely meet these standards or come satisfyingly close with some time, some workouts, and a good diet. Most women can’t.
I’m super glad you added all that because you are definitely very right! I hadn’t thought of that at all.
this is so important
Oh my god
This is a series of ads from the early 20th century right up to the 1970s.
You might notice what they’re advertising is, instead of the weight loss solutions we’re used to today, they’re actually advertising weight GAIN.
‘It’s hard to believe they once called me skinny!’
‘Skinny girls are NOT glamour girls!’
‘a skinny, scarecrow figure is neither fashionable nor glamourous!’
‘thousands quickly gaining beauty-bringing pounds!’
Notice how less than a hundred years ago, these ads were meant to shame thin bodies the way weight loss ads shame fat bodies today? Notice that how as time goes by, the ‘ideal’ body shape changes from era to era? Notice how in these ads as well as those seen today, they’re meant to make people feel bad about the way they look?
These ads are just as bad as the ones that run today. They’re meant to shame you and make you feel inadequate for one sole reason: so you go out and spend money on their products. It’s not about your self esteem, your health, or your happiness. It’s about selling the product. It’s about making the money.
Your body is NOT wrong. You don’t need pills, diets, or supplements to make you happy, attractive, or ‘right’. All bodies are good bodies. It doesn’t matter if you’re skinny, fat, tall, short, disabled, scarred, anything at all.
Do not let the media dictate what you think you should be. The media is fickle. It does not care about you. Don’t let yourself care about what it says.